I got married!!!

On October 23rd, 2010, Justin and I finally tied the knot. There was no romantic proposal, it was a mutual decision. We decided it was time to get married after just over 3 years of being together. Neither of us wanted to wait, so we decided to do it as soon as possible. We planned everything within a month and everything turned out beautiful. The wedding was outside in a gazebos on the beach in the town that we live in. We took a huge chance of having an outside wedding near the end of October in the Adirondack Mountains. There have been many years we have had snow before Halloween has rolled around. About 1 in the morning on the day of our wedding, we noticed it was snowing outside and it was sticking. When I got up to start getting ready for the day’s events, there was about 2 to 3 inches of snow on the ground. No grass could be seen anywhere. We knew our ceremony was going to be quick, but I was wearing a strapless wedding dress. A friend of mine did let me borrow her shawl that she wore for her wedding, but I really didn’t want to wear it. Thankfully, the snow melted before the wedding and the temperature rose to the mid to high 40s. The sun was shining brightly and was actually blinding me for during the pictures after the ceremony. I had the wedding I asked for. I wanted the sun to be out and it to not be raining or snowing. I didn’t care what it did before or after the wedding. I just wanted the pictures to come out nice and they did. Our friend, Justin’s best man’s wife, Katie, took the pictures for us and she did a fantastic job.

My beautiful bouquet

This is one of my favorite pictures

…if you would like to see more pictures, please go to Mr. and Mrs. St.Amour’s Wedding Photo Site and enter 1023 for the password. Enjoy!
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In weight news, I am starting to get back on the right back again (thankfully!). I realized the weight I thought I had gained over the past month or a little longer was not actually real weight. It was water weight and weight built up for not going to the bathroom (I know, I know…like you really needed to know that…sorry). After only a few days, all that weight melted off and I have actually lost 1 more pounds than the last time I logged my weight on Lose It! I have now officially lost just over 60 pounds!!! Woo hoo!!! It should actually be 10 pounds more than that, but I have been a huge slacker the past month or so.
I finally went back to the gym last night. It wasn’t for long, but at least I got up and moving again. I started off on the elliptical machine for only 5 minutes. I can only do 5 minutes on that machine right now. It’s kicks my ass. Hopefully, slowly I’m build up my time on it. I also walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I put it on the weight loss mode, which I have never done before. I usually walk on a 0 incline at about 3 mph for speed. Last night, the incline was switching back and forth between 2.0 and 3.5 incline. I walked at 3.5 mph for speed for majority of it. I did slow down a couple of time to 3.0 or 3.2 mph. I definitely pushed myself on the treadmill, especially for not having done it in a LONG time. I was sweating up a storm. I lifted weights for a quick 10 minutes or so.
60.6 pounds down, 99.4 pounds to go

Response to a Lose It! Friend

I know I haven't posted in over 2 weeks and I'm sorry that I have neglected you.  I recently had one of my friends on Lose It! e-mail, so I want to share her e-mail and my response back to it.

Hi Darlene,
I've seen how well you've been doing and I'm trying to get back on track and eating healthy with working out.
Just wondering how you've stayed motivated eating healthy ect.
Thank you!

My response:
I have honestly have had a hard time trying to respond to this e-mail.  Yes, I have done well and have lost 53 pounds.  However, the last 2 1/2 weeks have not been great because I have been eating a lot of junk food and really haven't exercised.  I really think I must be going through something, whether I'm pregnant (which I have been asked some many times by my family and others) or life is just getting me down (I have been unemployed, since the end of June 2009.  I was a teacher and my position was cut.  Nothing since then has seemed to go right.)  I have had major cravings for Peanut M&Ms and ice cream (plus other stuff, but those are the main two).  I feel like I need to tell you all that because I would feel like I was being dishonest with you if I pretend everything is going well.

Now, that is out-of-the-way I can get down to trying to answer your answer (heck, maybe it would help me get back on track..haha).

One of my biggest motivation is the fact that I'm tired of being fat.  I hate being the fattest person in a room.  Even though I do have a great boyfriend, I hate the fact that no other guy would be interested in me because of the way I look.  I have 3 sisters and I'm the biggest and also the youngest.  I hate being larger than my boyfriend, but I'll always be bigger then him.  I have large frame and he has a small frame. The weight he is almost at now is about where I want to be.  I want to not have to buy clothes that costs 3x as much as skinny people's clothes.  I want to become active and healthier, so that when I do have children I will be able to enjoy them they way I should be able to.  I also want to be a good role model for them.  I really want to change all my bad habits, so my children don't develop them too.

I am really obsessed with logging everything I eat, even the unhealthy stuff.  I am constantly checking Lose It!, whether it is online or on my iPod touch.  Overall, I have actually notice a decline in all of my friends activity level, so maybe we are all going through a tough patch.  I honestly believe that I can do this.  I have lost 53 already and have 107 pounds left to go.  One of my sisters, just told me the other day that she can see how much happier I am since I started losing weight.  My weight loss has definitely been a struggle and I have had my share of ups and downs.  Right now, I'm going through a big down, but I WILL come out of it.  I need to remember that I want to be healthier, skinnier, and happier, but that will not come without blood, sweat, and tears.

Anytime that I eat something that I really shouldn't, I do not dwell on it or feel guilty.  I feel that if I allow myself to beat myself up about, then I will fail.  I also do not deny myself anything (when I'm on the right track) because again I know that as soon as I start denying myself certain foods, I'm setting myself up for failure.  Even though it's been a few weeks, since I last posted I really do feel that it helps me.  (Maybe I should go write a post again and that might help me get back on the right track)   What we need to do before inhaling those delicious M&Ms, ice cream, movie theater style popcorn, or whatever our weakness is to ask ourselves if it is really worth it.  I know I have not asked myself that for the past 2 1/2 weeks, so starting tomorrow that will change and that question will be in the back of my head constantly.

Sorry, this is so long-winded and thank you for listening to my rant or whatever it would be called.  I hope this helps you, as well as myself.  I wish you all the best of luck!

My Love Affair with Peanut M&Ms...

...so last week was that dreadful time of the month.  During this time, I normally have cravings here and there, but I can usually keep them at bay.  However, last week's craving were at a new whole magnitude level of cravings.  The craving: Peanut M&M's!  I wanted them basically all week.  One day it was all I thought about.  Do I have to be honest with you, I did indulge my devilish cravings many times last week.  I did somehow manage to lose 2 pounds last week.  Besides, eating M&Ms constantly the rest of my diet that week wasn't bad at all.

I started this post last week and it has been sitting in my drafts.  I decide to brush it off and post it. 

I BROKE THE 50 POUND MARK!!!!  50.6 TO BE EXACT!!!  WOOHOO!!!

50.6 pounds down, 109.4 pounds to go

It's taking off

Finally, my weight loss is taking off again.  Last week, I had a measly 1.2 pound weight loss, but this week is different.  My weeks with Lose It! go from Monday to Sunday.  Each day this week I have lost weight, which is AWESOME!!!  On Monday, I lost .8 pounds. On Tuesday, I lost a huge 2 pounds and today I lost another .6 pounds.  Which brings me to a whopping 3.4 pounds weight loss this week alone.  Go me, Go me, Go Go Go me!!!!  I don't know if my body is enjoying just lifting hand weights this week or my rejection pig out day last week or those oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I made last week when I was extremely bored.  If it's either one of the last two, then my body must have need that calorie boost to get it going again.  Then again, it could be a reason that I did not list or mention or even though of for that matter. 

45.8 pounds down, 114.2 pounds to go

Update

Unfortunately, I was not offered either positions I interviewed for about a week or so ago. The TA position was given to a local person, which I new that I wasn't going to it it because the Superintendent was straight-forward with me and told me that there was a lot of local politics involved with this decision. I guess there was a lot of pressure to hire local. The Board of Education was who decided who would get this position. The Special Education Position at the school I use to go to went to a woman who works at the school as a TA. I found out on the same day that I did not get either position...rejected twice in one day = tough! When Justin got home I obviously told him, then I asked if he was going to break up with me because I don't think I could handle being rejected 3 times in one day. He told he wasn't going to break up with me. Later in bed, I asked again, but said you're not going to went till tomorrow so you're not the ass the broke up with a girl who was already rejected 2 times that day. I found out about the first one about 9:30am and the other one about 1pm. After I found out about the twice one, I was in tears off and on throughout the whole day. I was bad and even tried comforting myself with Chocolate Peanut Cup Ice Cream, which of course didn't work! Justin and I already had plans to go over to his parents' house for dinner. I can't really remember what we had for dinner, but I know there were some killer green beans that I LOVED! I don't normally drink it it, but I had quite a few glasses (4oz each) of red wine. It was tasting pretty good to me that day and it actually did help me relax and calm down. Obviously, I'm disappointed that I didn't get either jobs, but it's the fact that we needed one of those position to make sure we could afford rent every month. Right now, we are scraping every penny we can. The only thing we have bought in the past week or so is milk. We are living off of whatever food we had in the house already, which is mainly pasta. I know eating a lot of pasta is not good for trying to lose weight, but it's either eat that or nothing at all. Just yesterday, Justin's mom and his Grandma bought us some groceries, so now we have some meat and stuff for a while. Also, I feel like now that I have to go find any job I can and that will take me out of schools, which will make it even harder to find a teaching position....so I really feel like I have to give up on my dream. Needless to say, life has been very stressful lately! 

43.2 pounds down, 116.8 more pounds to go

I did it!!!

On Saturday, I hiked Owl's Head Mountain from start to finish, which three months ago I wasn't able to do.  Granted, I was completely exhausted afterward, but none the less I did it.  The hike was 6.2 miles round trip.  Before this, the longest hike I had been on was 4.2 miles.  I was proud of myself because on the way up I didn't take nearly as many breaks, when I attempted to hike this mountain 3 months ago.  Actually, we were about half-way up and Justin suggested that we take a water break to help pace us.  Three months ago, I probably took anywhere between 7 to 10 breaks before that spot.  Toward the end of the hike it became very steep and rocky.  I guess the "hiker world" would call it a rock scramble, but whatever you call it I absolutely hated it!  I rather go up the rocks, then I would come back down.  I hate coming down rocks.  It really scares me!  Justin seems to think this will change as I get closer to my goal; however, I don't think it will.  Anyway, going back down these huge boulders put me in a pissy mood.  I was grouchy and declared that I was never going to hike that stupid mountain again.  When I got home, I changed into my pajamas and put on my slippers.  For about an hour or so, I just laid in bed and talked on the phone with my mom, so my body could just relax for a while.  I was so beat that I think it took us just about the same amount of time to come down the mountain as it did going up it.  Thankfully, I am doing much better today, since I have an interview tomorrow at 11am.  If you pray, please pray for me.  If you send good thoughts, please send good thoughts.  Whatever you do, please do it because I desperately need this position.  With how my (our) luck has been the last year and a half, I'm thinking I (we) need a miracle to land this position.

Click here to see pictures of my hike

This Little Piggie....

has had a VERY BIG APPETITE today!  I just want to get anything and everything I see.  Honestly, I think it's a mix of boredom and stress.  Boredom is because we haven't done much today.  We were suppose to go hiking, but it rained.  The rain stopped to late in the day and Justin is on call tonight (6pm to 6am).  We will have to go on our hike tomorrow, if the weather is decent.  Stress is because I have been unemployed for over a year now, since my teaching position was cut.  I haven't had any luck finding a new position.  Over this past year, I did substitute at the local schools, but it wasn't very much.  I had to file a new unemployment claim and since I didn't make that much from subbing I'm only going to be bringing in $77 a week now.  $77 x 4 weeks = NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE RENT!!!  That is a huge cut from what I was getting before.  Justin and I don't know what we are going to do.  I was in tears last night over this.  We need something good to happen to us very soon.  It has seemed like the past year and a half has been a shit fest....a permanent poo cloud is parked over our heads.  I know people say you need to stay positive, but it is very taxing and it wears you down after a while.  Life just really sucks...it's so unfair!  I think we need a miracle!  If I was given 3 wishes, I would wish that I was offered the teaching position at the school I use to attend, Justin would be offered the Sheriff Deputy's position for the county, and all of our debt would be forgiven or paid off.  Hell, I would be happy with just 2 of those wishes come true and I won't be picky to which ones either.  Praying that my interview on Tuesday goes well and I'm offered the position that night or the next day (I heard the school has a board meeting the next day, so I'm assuming they would want to present to the board for approval). 
Well, that's enough of my complaining for one night.  Good night!

41.2 pounds down, 118.8 pounds to go

Finally Reached 40 Pounds

It has seemed like it has taken forever to reach this point, especially with only losing 1 pound last week and only 1 so far this week.  My weight loss has seemed to slow down and I'm not sure why, but at least I'm still losing.  Justin and I finally got an exercise mat (haven't used it yet though), so we can do floor exercises at some point.  I did end up buying a heart rate monitor that didn't have the chest strap.  However, I returned it yesterday, when I took my Mom to her doctor's appointment.  I really don't know why I thought I would like it.  I HATE watches.  I think they are ugly and disgusting.  I have never liked them whatsoever.  I felt like a nerd when I wore it.  Yuck!

Tomorrow, (weather permitting) we are going to try to hike Owl's Head Mountain again.  My first attempt was not successful at all and wasn't even close.  This is about a 6 mile hike round trip.  The longest I have done so far is a 4 mile round trip.  I'm not sure if I'm ready yet to take on that hike.  I guess only time will tell with that. 

On this coming Tuesday, I have an interview for a Special Education Teacher position. Oh how I pray that I'm offered the position.  It's about an hour from where I live, but it's in the same town as where my Mom lives.  During the winter or days I just don't feel like going home, I can stay with my Mom.  Plus, it would be good for her because she will have company and she wouldn't be home by herself all the time like she is now.  I had an interview for a TA position at one of the schools that I sub at a lot this past Tuesday.  They told me that I should hear something back the day after the interview, which I haven't so I'm assuming I didn't get the position.  I pray for something good to happen soon!

40 pounds down, 120 more to go

Coney Mountain - Take 2

Yesterday, Justin and I hiked Coney Mountain for the second time.  It was actually our last hike, which was about a month ago.  We hiked Coney again because the summit is loaded with blueberry bushes; however, I think we went back to late.  Yes, there were some blueberries, but they seemed picked over, eaten by animals, or maybe even "past their expiration".  This hike is 2.2 round trip and I am happy to announce that I cut down the time it took me to go to the top this time by 10-15 minutes.  I also took less water breaks!  Here are a few pictures from yesterday's hike:

Today, we are going out-of-town to meet up with my best friend Deanna.  It's her birthday today!  We are going mini-golfing, then out to dinner at a Spanish/Mexican restaurant.  I have already looked over the delicious menu and oh my goodness I would like to try everything, but that would be expensive (both money wise and calorie wise).  Before we head out, I am going to have to make sure I workout out of I can burn off the calories I'm going to end up scarfing down at dinner.  I am hoping to lose more weight before the end of the weekend, but since I'm going out to dinner that may not happen.  I have only lost 1 pound this week, which is below my usual.  I wonder if I'm gaining muscle mass.  Oh, that reminds me...I order a fat loss monitor from Amazon.  This way I'll have a better idea if and when I'm losing weight and gaining muscle mass.  It's suppose to come in on Monday, but who knows if it actually will.

39 pounds down, 121 more pounds to go

My Other Blog

...Click here to access my other blog on wordpress
From this point on, I will make sure that my postings for both sites are the same. ;)